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Posts Tagged ‘Tarot’

The day I began my blog I had no idea that the light I saw at the end of the tunnel was actually an oncoming train. Fortunately, it missed us by a hair, but we have been madly buffeted by roaring, clattering and gusting wind as a juggernaut of awful possibilities thundered by mere inches from our noses.

Perhaps if I hadn’t dared the gods with my initial comments about how the chaos and uncertainty of a leap into the unknown keep me fit and refreshed, the past 10 days would have been easier to navigate … but probably not.

I think the real problem lay in two things: first, we were being pressed from behind by potentially damaging circumstances which couldn’t be mitigated, and second, the gifts which I depend on to navigate successfully through life seem to have been blunted to the point of uselessness.

For those of you who don’t know, I’m a professional psychic. It’s one of the three ways I support myself, the other two being writing and management-level office work, and I have for most of my working life cycled through those three modalities as opportunity and whim dictated.

When doing readings for others I’ll often use astrology, Tarot and even numerology, but in my own life I depend on feedback from the world around me to let me know if I’m headed in the right direction, and when it’s time for a change. Jungian psychologist Jean Shinoda Bolen said that there’s so much meaning in the everyday experience of life that it can be interpreted like a dream, and I have found this to be true.

Even more, I’ve found that in my case, if things are going well, then I’m headed in the right direction. If the going gets hard and heavy, then it’s time to make course corrections, and keep making them until the road smooths out again. And often small events, ones most people would consider insignificant, will quickly validate when I’ve made a good course correction. A bird flying past my windshield, a serendipitous purchase at the grocery, a casual remark by a passerby … when I’m alert, that’s normally all the guidance I need. And it works! Usually.

However, for the past year, nothing I’ve done has achieved that shift in energy and circumstance which signals to me that I’m back on the right track. It’s been a complicated, slogging uphill grind since I moved with my adult daughter, Julia, from coastal Redwood country in far Northern California (Humboldt County) to the San Francisco South Bay area, where she spent the past year on a stem cell research scholarship at Stanford University.

A quick bit of backstory, here. My family has allergies and intolerances, and mine (I thought) manifsted mostly with foods and chemical vapors like formaldehyde and petroleum (yep, that foundational chemical of our culture). But when I got to the Bay Area the problems exploded in all directions, to the point where I couldn’t function normally. Foods, chemicals, odors, freeway exhausts, pollen, dust … all of that and more could lay me flat in an instant. Not only that, but it has affected my daughter as well.

Of course, a typical allergy symptom is mental fog, and mine has seemed debilitating this year. I was fortunate to find a truly outstanding allergy specialist who not only believed me (the first M.D. who has), but found a couple of simple, straightforward ways to treat and manage the worst of it until I could get out of the cauldron of triggers which the Bay Area proved to be for me. Of course, part of it involved staying indoors, doors and windows closed, and HEPA Blue Smoke Air Purifiers cranked up high – which, since I’m a fresh air fanatic, I hated!

Even with treatment, though, I’ve essentially been flying blind for a bit more than a year, wrapped in a numbing fog, completely without the sensitivity and mental acuity which I have depended on all my life to inform my choices and decisions.

So, I guess we’re talking about a rock and a hard place, here. The allergies are the rock.

Tomorrow, in “The Gory Details,” I’ll tell you about the hard place, the combination of circumstances that developed into a full-blown speeding train that, as I said, barely missed flattening us. Or at least that’s how it’s felt.

After that, you’ll be up to date, and it’ll be time for musing and reveling in beautiful scenery as we travel up the coast through Washington state, across Canada, and back down into New England.

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